My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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