Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
