You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
