Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize