so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
