And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
