meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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