i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
