you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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