come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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