I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
