I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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