Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
