She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The Olympian is in my bed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize