So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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