Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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