the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
