god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
