She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
