fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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