I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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