Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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