Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
