I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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