i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
