I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
