i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
