I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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