so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
