? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
bring money and cleavage
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
