The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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