Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
