I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
