Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
