whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
