We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
