I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
