Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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