what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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