but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
