I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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