i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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