talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
