Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
