Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize