I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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