90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
