Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize