Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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