Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize