Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
