Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
