I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
