I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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