I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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