so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
