I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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