Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
