i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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